The father is who...??

[crazy_about_it]

Okay, that's weird. Why am I getting email from some medical lab? This better not be more junk mail about increasing the size of my...

Why is it dated years in the future?




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: dante@islandmail.net
From: Fortuna Capital Genetics Lab
Cc: nero@islandmail.net, vergil@islandmail.net


Dear Mr. Dante,

Enclosed are the results of the paternity test.


Case Number: 65473118

Alleged Father: Dante
Child: Nero
Mother: UNKNOWN


The alleged father is excluded as being the biological father of the child.

The results of the avuncular DNA test indicate a close relationship. The alleged father is likely to be the uncle of the child. The results conclusively support the biological relationship, in the absence of a direct paternity test.

If you have any questions about the results of the tests, please call us during business hours and provide your case number given above.



Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is used for automated notification email only and is not monitored for incoming email. You will not receive a response.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


...

This is a joke, right?

Right?

Comments

[crazy_about_it]

*just smirking*

Guess we'll never know exactly how we're related.

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

If Vergil being my dad is one of my options, I don't think I ever wanna know.

[crazy_about_it]

I think you're safe on that one.

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

Man, I hope so.

[crazy_about_it]

I don't remember if I ever asked - do you have any brothers or sisters?

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

If I do, I've never seen them. Why the pop quiz all of a sudden?

[crazy_about_it]

*shrugging* Just curious. Wondering if I've got more relatives out there somewhere.

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

*shrug* Who the hell knows?

[crazy_about_it]

Well of the two relatives I do have, at least I can stand to be around you. With my luck, if I found more family they'd be like him.

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

Sucks to be you, then.

[crazy_about_it]

Only sometimes. Sometimes it's great to be me.

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

You just keep telling yourself that, Dante.

[crazy_about_it]

You're not jealous, are you?

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

Of you? Don't make me laugh.

[crazy_about_it]

*just smirking - and then thinking aloud...* Maybe you should tell Vergil he owes you twenty years of child support?

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, that idea has death wish written all over it.

[crazy_about_it]

You don't think you can take him?

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

I never said that.

[crazy_about_it]

Well if you ever do decide to take him on, let me know. I want a ringside seat.

Yamato vs. Yamato would definitely be a show worth watching.

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

You'll be the first person I call.

[crazy_about_it]

Maybe I can even get Sabrina to make popcorn.

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

Why don't you just sell tickets while you're at it?

[crazy_about_it]

Hey, that's a good idea.

[revmysword.livejournal.com]

What are you gonna charge? A coconut, some leaves, and a banana?

[crazy_about_it]

... I didn't think of that.