The father is who...??

[crazy_about_it]

Okay, that's weird. Why am I getting email from some medical lab? This better not be more junk mail about increasing the size of my...

Why is it dated years in the future?




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: dante@islandmail.net
From: Fortuna Capital Genetics Lab
Cc: nero@islandmail.net, vergil@islandmail.net


Dear Mr. Dante,

Enclosed are the results of the paternity test.


Case Number: 65473118

Alleged Father: Dante
Child: Nero
Mother: UNKNOWN


The alleged father is excluded as being the biological father of the child.

The results of the avuncular DNA test indicate a close relationship. The alleged father is likely to be the uncle of the child. The results conclusively support the biological relationship, in the absence of a direct paternity test.

If you have any questions about the results of the tests, please call us during business hours and provide your case number given above.



Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is used for automated notification email only and is not monitored for incoming email. You will not receive a response.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


...

This is a joke, right?

Right?

Comments

[crazy_about_it]

*snickering a little at 'only slightly grumpy'* Yeah, I know. It's probably just the island playing games again.

[spellcast]

Still think that it's possible that he's related to you somehow though?

[crazy_about_it]

Oh I'm not doubting that. Dear old Dad was supposedly around for two thousand years. It wouldn't be that surprising if he'd had other kids before Vergil and me.

[spellcast]

... Your dad's old!

[crazy_about_it]

I guess he was. Must not have looked it though, or Mom wouldn't have fallen for him.

[spellcast]

... Yeah, I guess. *sob, her mom and dad ;w;*

Anyways, having fun using the computer?

[crazy_about_it]

Yeah, it's alright once you get the hang of it.

[spellcast]

Funny that these are still here. I thought that the computers would only be temporary.

[crazy_about_it]

So how come we can get email from off the island, but we can't send any?

[spellcast]

We're stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere. I doubt anything we try to send actually gets across.

[crazy_about_it]

I guess not.

Hey, you don't have any magic spells in that book that would prove if this is true or not, do you?

[spellcast]

I could make my own incantation to figure it out?

[crazy_about_it]

Do you think that would work? Or would we all end up as a family of monkeys or something?

[spellcast]

Aren't you already monkeys?

[crazy_about_it]

Wouldn't that make us half-demon monkeys?