The father is who...??

[crazy_about_it]

Okay, that's weird. Why am I getting email from some medical lab? This better not be more junk mail about increasing the size of my...

Why is it dated years in the future?




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: dante@islandmail.net
From: Fortuna Capital Genetics Lab
Cc: nero@islandmail.net, vergil@islandmail.net


Dear Mr. Dante,

Enclosed are the results of the paternity test.


Case Number: 65473118

Alleged Father: Dante
Child: Nero
Mother: UNKNOWN


The alleged father is excluded as being the biological father of the child.

The results of the avuncular DNA test indicate a close relationship. The alleged father is likely to be the uncle of the child. The results conclusively support the biological relationship, in the absence of a direct paternity test.

If you have any questions about the results of the tests, please call us during business hours and provide your case number given above.



Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is used for automated notification email only and is not monitored for incoming email. You will not receive a response.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


...

This is a joke, right?

Right?

Comments

[flameoff.livejournal.com]

Well, I though I'd make a joke out of it but guess it backfired. Is your son--... err, your brother here?

[crazy_about_it]

Yeah. The whole family is here, apparently.

[flameoff.livejournal.com]

... The whole family? What, the mom, too?

[crazy_about_it]

Well, no, not the mom. I have no idea who that would be.

... I can't even imagine what she would be like for my brother to actually put up with her for long enough to get a kid.

[flameoff.livejournal.com]

What kind of guy is your brother?

[crazy_about_it]

He's an anti-social bastard.

[flameoff.livejournal.com]

Then the mom would have to be a saint. He's one of many, I tell you.

[crazy_about_it]

Seriously. I don't know anyone else who'd put up with him.

Yeah, there's plenty of anti-social people around. Luckily there's social people like me to balance 'em out.

[flameoff.livejournal.com]

Probably not nice to use people to make yourself look good, but sure, why not. I'm not too bad of a guy myself!

[crazy_about_it]

They're making themselves look bad.

*shrugging* This thing's probably just one of the island's jokes anyway.