The father is who...??

[crazy_about_it]

Okay, that's weird. Why am I getting email from some medical lab? This better not be more junk mail about increasing the size of my...

Why is it dated years in the future?




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: dante@islandmail.net
From: Fortuna Capital Genetics Lab
Cc: nero@islandmail.net, vergil@islandmail.net


Dear Mr. Dante,

Enclosed are the results of the paternity test.


Case Number: 65473118

Alleged Father: Dante
Child: Nero
Mother: UNKNOWN


The alleged father is excluded as being the biological father of the child.

The results of the avuncular DNA test indicate a close relationship. The alleged father is likely to be the uncle of the child. The results conclusively support the biological relationship, in the absence of a direct paternity test.

If you have any questions about the results of the tests, please call us during business hours and provide your case number given above.



Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is used for automated notification email only and is not monitored for incoming email. You will not receive a response.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


...

This is a joke, right?

Right?

Comments

[crazy_about_it]

... Well, yeah, but I don't usually pull practical jokes on myself.

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

Hmph. No matter whose idea of a joke this is, I don't find it funny in the least. *that much is obvious*

[crazy_about_it]

That's because you don't have a sense of humor.

... It's not true, right?

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

*gives you a look that reads "You can't seriously be asking me that."*

[crazy_about_it]

... It could be sometime in the future?

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

*...you're still getting the same look.*

[crazy_about_it]

Yeah, I'm not buying it either. I can't picture you putting up with anyone long enough to get a kid.

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

And for once, we find a subject that we can agree upon.

[crazy_about_it]

Or more like I can picture it, and it's gonna give me nightmares.

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

*heard that* I would suggest that you stop picturing it, then.

[crazy_about_it]

*faking a shudder* Gladly.

You have to admit though, he's probably related to us somehow.

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

Perhaps, though it's hardly any concern of mine.

[crazy_about_it]

Aww, don't you want to be a daddy?

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

Would you?

[crazy_about_it]

... *refusing to answer that question honestly on the grounds you'd probably make fun of him*

What do you think?

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

*well you just get a blunt answer, then* I would consider you too irresponsible and absent-minded to honestly wish to father a child.

[crazy_about_it]

Guess I'd just have to find a woman who's more responsible than me to be the mother.

... Do you remember much about that time when everyone was somehow in the future?

[might-controls.livejournal.com]

I try not to. *:|*

[crazy_about_it]

But you made such a cute uncle.