The father is who...??

[crazy_about_it]

Okay, that's weird. Why am I getting email from some medical lab? This better not be more junk mail about increasing the size of my...

Why is it dated years in the future?




-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To: dante@islandmail.net
From: Fortuna Capital Genetics Lab
Cc: nero@islandmail.net, vergil@islandmail.net


Dear Mr. Dante,

Enclosed are the results of the paternity test.


Case Number: 65473118

Alleged Father: Dante
Child: Nero
Mother: UNKNOWN


The alleged father is excluded as being the biological father of the child.

The results of the avuncular DNA test indicate a close relationship. The alleged father is likely to be the uncle of the child. The results conclusively support the biological relationship, in the absence of a direct paternity test.

If you have any questions about the results of the tests, please call us during business hours and provide your case number given above.



Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is used for automated notification email only and is not monitored for incoming email. You will not receive a response.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


...

This is a joke, right?

Right?

Comments

[lonewildwolf.livejournal.com]

*sup, peeking over your shoulder Dante o/*

What's a joke now?

[crazy_about_it]

This... *gesturing towards his laptop* ...email.

*possibly as close to speechless as he's ever going to get*

[lonewildwolf.livejournal.com]

Okay! Let's see heeeere... *leaning closer to read the email*

Dear Mr. Dante... dadadadadaaaa.... please call us during business hours... dadada-- aaaaaaand, done.

... huh. Congratulations?

[crazy_about_it]

It's got to be a joke though. There's no way he's my... my nephew, I guess?

[lonewildwolf.livejournal.com]

Well... maybe your brother might have ran into one lucky lady after all? I mean, if you're going to be called an uncle and all.

[crazy_about_it]

... ... *please hold while Dante tries to picture Vergil somehow managing to "get lucky" - and now trying to erase those pictures completely*

It's gonna take more than an email to convince me of that.

[lonewildwolf.livejournal.com]

From the future apparently at that.

[crazy_about_it]

Actually, that's the only part that kind of makes sense, since Nero's about the same age as me right now. Apparently we don't actually meet until sometime in my future.